As you might know, at the encouragement (more like competitive egging) of my DH, I decided to go back to school last June. It was a choice between getting another Master's, this time in Creative Writing, or going for a doctorate since I already have a Master's. I decided that for the same length of time and the same amount of work, might as well go for the higher degree.I have very pleasant memories of my graduate studies. Academically, I had better grades than when I was a college undergraduate. I was active in extra-curricular activities (student council and school paper) and I was working at the same time. Everything seemed so easy. So I thought post-graduate was going to be a breeze. Or not. The past three years, my world revolved around my family, my home and my scrapbooking. It has been years since I read an academic paper. And even more years since I received my Master's. Being inside the classroom again, and not as a parent accompanying her child this time, was quite a culture shock. Everything seemed so...academic.
As the semester progressed, my scrap stuff made way for xeroxed articles. Instead of reading for fun and relaxation, I started reading for recitations and examinations. While I am a voracious reader, there were many times when I fell asleep reading the likes of Wilson, Waldo, Sen and Foucault. Blog-writing had to be set aside for book reviews and annotated bibliographies.I missed scrapbooking so much that many times, I would sketch layouts or write my journaling in class, while the professor droned on and on about ethics and law. And then there was the feeling that I wasn't good enough. What was a SAHM like me doing in school with classmates from the World Bank, United Nations, Congress, state universities? Many times, I felt like signing the blue slip and dropping out.
But the thought of DH's smug face kept me on. I couldn't bear to quit because I knew I would never hear the end of it from him. He of the 1.18 average. Plus, the tuition fee was much more than I expected so I couldn't let it go to waste.
And so I toiled on...every paper finished was a milestone. And like every milestone, it always seemed there was another waiting around the corner. Every exam taken and passed was a validation. Near the end of the semester, I finally started believing I could do this. I could be a doctor (cue thunder and lightning!)Yesterday, I finally saw my PA Theory grade online. Our professor was very strict and exacting. I wasn't expecting a high grade especially after the final exam. I was the first one to finish in class because there wasn't anything more I could write in answer to the three essay questions. I had to wait two more hours for my classmates to finish. It wasn't looking good. So I was resigned to a low grade.
And then surprise, surprise! I got a much higher grade than I expected. I literally exploded out of my chair as I began to shout for DH to look at my grade. I felt all the stress and the fatigue of the past two weeks of cramming flow out of my body. I did it! I passed with flying colors! I have proven that at my age, I can still cram like the best of them. Woo-hoo!
Next week is enrolment for the second semester and I think I will be lining up for more pain and torture again. In the meantime, I hope to scrap and blog. I've got lots of memories lined up and I still have to blog about the final outcome of the Idol contest. Stay tuned.
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