Ambivalence

Well, what do you know? I'm still in the running for Idol. (Obvious ba, hinintay ko ang results, hehe.) One part of me loves the idea and am actually feeling proud of myself right now. The other half is filled with dread and trepidation.

The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster ride. While I love the process of creating for Idol, I can certainly do without the stress that comes with it. (Just ask any of the challengers.) My world has been completely turned upside down. Whereas before, I looked forward to weekends so I can scrap in peace, I now claim Saturdays and Sundays as my days-off from scrapping! LOL.

The movers to the next round are announced on Thursdays, so are the details of the next challenge. Of course, as I fall asleep, ideas fleet through my mind. But I refuse to fully entertain them yet, as I won't be able to scrap until the weekend anyway. But weekends are supposed to be stress-free so come the end of the week, I refuse to think about Idol at all. Ergo, I don't go anywhere near my scrap room. Crazy, isn't it? Sunday evenings I let my mind plan and strategize and hopefully, if all went well, I'd be done by Wednesday morning.

Not so this week. First, I had no file photos of any objects that may be significant to me. Except perhaps, food. :-) Got loads of those. So that means I have to stage a shoot. I'm pretty much "spontaneity" when it comes to my photography. Then, my significant objects are so small that my point and shoot can't quite hack the exact angle I wanted. Good thing serendipity came to the rescue. I finally had my photo but needed fresh inks for my printer. Finally got around to buying those, Wednesday afternoon. And I don't have to tell you about moving everything around until things fell into place. In my case, things didn't fall into place until 4:00 am Thursday morning. Talk about cramming. But I have to thank Cabbie (she showed me her LO past midnight) for inspiring me to do better. I literally had to start over again because I felt my LO was not good enough. The final outcome is very different from what I have been working on the whole night. But I'm glad I took the extra effort, not to mention the extra hours because as usual, all the other entries are something else again.

And have you seen the next challenge? Ephemera! I sucked at that in the KAYA! Challenges. Waaahhh...And no photos!!! And I just bought new inks.